Dear MUA

Ma’am. Respectfully. Why are you playing in our and with their faces?

At what point did Natural Glam turn into Runway Realness: RuPaul’s Drag Race - Wedding Edition? The Mother of the Bride and the Maid of Honor should not look like they’re about to lip-sync for their legacy before cocktail hour. Soft glam is meant to whisper elegance, not scream contour.

Let’s discuss inspiration photos. Which one were you reviewing? The bride sent “fresh, radiant, timeless,” and what showed up was “clown costume, stage lights, and emotional damage.” I have never seen natural look so… aggressive.

Now let’s talk time management, because apparently you had plenty of time; enough time to be out drinking the night before, enough time to share those details with the bridal party, enough time to freestyle a smoky eye while the timeline quietly screamed for help. Suddenly, when it’s time to refine, blend, and correct? You’re “pressed for time.” Fascinating.

What’s even more fascinating is you waiting around for 20 minutes after services concluded, knowing full well the look was off, expecting confirmation on a tip envelope that has since been retracted with intention. Consider this a professional development moment.

Here’s a free tip from the Pretty Petty Planner:

When the bride is staring into the mirror in silence, and the planner is staring at you in disbelief, it is time to quietly gather your kit and exit with dignity before the bride provides feedback you are not emotionally prepared to receive.

Weddings are sacred. Faces are personal.

This? This was the wrong choice.

Looking for the Ringmaster,

The Pretty Petty Planner